Hi, James! 

 Are you doing good these days? I expect you to be wondering why I sent you this letter.

 As you might expect, I have something to tell you that I could not tell you before.

 Writing this letter, it remind me of the most valuable moment- the first time I met you in a math class.  

 Actually, at first, I did not really recognized you as a man, but as the time passes, I was held by you. I could not help myself from glancing at you, and thinking about you.

 Even on the bed, I always thought of the moment when you made a brilliant speech in front of the class.

When I dreamed about you, I did not want to wake up- when I woke up, I tried to sleep more.

 I don't know how strange you might think of me reading this, but there is a reason why I am writing this letter for you- because I just want to express my feelings.

 I have pretended as if I don't consider you as a man, but lately I recognized that I would not be able to keep hiding my sincerity.

 Every time watching you, my worries and bad moods have washed out.

 Do you remember the day I got F on the math test? On that day, I cried over and over until you ask me that I am okay- your "are you okay" was different from others'.

 At that moment I thought, 'how happy student I would be if that boy is always beside me.'

  Yet, I don't know anything about you. Where do you live? What is your favorite color? What do you like to eat the most? Who is your ideal style? Where do you want to hang out with whom?

 You always tickle my curiosity. Now, I want to learn about you little by little- slowly but a lot. I think it would be beautiful for us to be closer to each other.

 You might feel confused reading my sincerity, but please receive this letter without pressure.

Even thought you don't accept my sincerity, please value the sincerity. Thank you James.

                                          ->read next paragraphs with this music.

 James stood with his fists trembling and lips unable to meet. Trying to guess who might sent this letter to him, he became scared. His math class was consisted of 7 boys- He is going to an all-boy school. Yes, the writer of the letter was a male.

 "What the Phuck...?" He could not express his feeling sufficiently as the shock was beyond the expressions. Saying nothing for a moment, he finally shouted, "Oh phuck that was him, Josh."

 'The writer shouldn’t be him!' James shuddered at the idea and the fact that he considered the possibility. However, he couldn’t stop pondering secretly.

 The day after, Josh, a tall boy with wide shoulder, told him to come to the rooftop after the classes. “It became clear that he was Josh...,” James whispered.

  When he went there, Josh was waiting for him with the scent of perfume. The two were not the only people who were at the rooftop at that time. Samuel, the best friend of James', was there, too. Josh said. “Yes… I’m the one who wrote the letter,” with shy smile. “I’m sorry, but I,” before James finished his words, Josh hugged him tightly and ran away. James lost his mind. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t do anything. Samuel went close to James and said, "Congratulation." James collapsed down.

       

  Next day, at school, he walked the same route of the hallway over and over, and he still couldn’t distinguish whether he is dreaming or not. He could see some students whispering each other looking over him. All students knew about the yesterday incident, but quite differently. For them,  Josh and James were already a couple. James hated that. He hated Josh. But really?

  James soon noticed that he couldn't forget the scent of Josh. Especially, he couldn't stop thinking about the feeling when Josh hugged him. Yes. A new, secretive  sincerity started to make two hearts flutter.

 HA! HA! HA! This was the story of your dadies, kids. Today, in 2045, people view homosexual couple normal, but at that time, when your dadies were students, most of people in the society viewed homosexual couple abnormal... Because we were a couple, we suffered a lot... It was really hard even for us to adopt you guys... How funny story it is! Ha Ha Ha!!!  

The beginning of the day was the most heart-fluttering day of my life. My wife was wearing a wedding dress and a bunch of flowers on her head. She was the most lovely and beautiful woman in the world. Me and my wife were blessed by hundreds of acquaintance. At that time, during the wedding, I promised myself to love my wife forever. Yet, now I am crying in the corner of the bathroom. The first time I saw my wife's no-makeup face was at the night of the honeymoon.

 Before less than an hour ago, inside the bathtub, her back was turned on me. The narrow back of hers heaved up-and-down. Clearly, she was trying to attract me. When she turned back and showed her face to me, I just screamed, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!" I could not call her a humankind. I found something different and gross when looking at the face. It destroyed my soul. I was just frozen and could not move toward her. Her eyes were making me wonder, just wonder. Wonder about her life, and mine, so intimately intertwined the relationship between me and my wife. I could hear the bond between us breaking down so instantly. It was not what I had believed to be the relationship of my life; to be torn apart by just a change of appearance? I felt remorse, for me and her.

 I had scoffed at a number of people before. Whenever people were criticizing with regards to women's faces, I'd thought that such words, thoughts, and actions were that of the foolish and the immature. It now seems that I was a hypocrite. I was the fool, the immature, and the offensive with my brain. I now understand that I shouldn't think like this, but I can't help feeling like I've been cheated on by my wife. That's probably not true, though. It's only natural that people tend to choose to reveal some parts of themselves where they want to show and choose what part to hide from others. For my wife, that was her face.

 I remember the great memories we have made before this marriage. I cannot forget her lovely hand-writing letters when I was serving for the military. She had have send letters every 2 or 3 days. I remember when I was almost expelled from the university for getting too many F's. Even at that time, she stayed up with me together and helped studying, and she finally taught me to get all As.

 I stared my eyes to her. She seemed very nervous like a kid waiting for the punishment by his mom. Her eyes got slowly wet. Till yesterday, if her eyes are full of tears, I thought they were like crystals, but now it seems to me as sweat of muscular guy tired of excessive push-ups. I turned my eyes to another place, 'If I keep my eyes on her'- I thought. 'I might lose all my lovely memories with her.' For that 10 minutes, she and I did not talk but made a silence; She was watching me, and I was ignoring her eyes toward me.

 Chaos. Now I can give a perfect definition of it. I loved her. Now it's my choice to leave that sentence as a past tense or a present tense. Whom did I love? Is it someone who keeps starring at me? Yeah it's her! But, why am I ignoring her poor eyes, eyes making tears? Why can't I look back at her? I hope I could. Am I a coward? Am I a hypocrat? Did I really loved this woman? What should I do at this moment? Why cannot I do anything but just crying over and over?