The beginning of the day was the most heart-fluttering day of my life. My wife was wearing a wedding dress and a bunch of flowers on her head. She was the most lovely and beautiful woman in the world. Me and my wife were blessed by hundreds of acquaintance. At that time, during the wedding, I promised myself to love my wife forever. Yet, now I am crying in the corner of the bathroom. The first time I saw my wife's no-makeup face was at the night of the honeymoon.

 Before less than an hour ago, inside the bathtub, her back was turned on me. The narrow back of hers heaved up-and-down. Clearly, she was trying to attract me. When she turned back and showed her face to me, I just screamed, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!" I could not call her a humankind. I found something different and gross when looking at the face. It destroyed my soul. I was just frozen and could not move toward her. Her eyes were making me wonder, just wonder. Wonder about her life, and mine, so intimately intertwined the relationship between me and my wife. I could hear the bond between us breaking down so instantly. It was not what I had believed to be the relationship of my life; to be torn apart by just a change of appearance? I felt remorse, for me and her.

 I had scoffed at a number of people before. Whenever people were criticizing with regards to women's faces, I'd thought that such words, thoughts, and actions were that of the foolish and the immature. It now seems that I was a hypocrite. I was the fool, the immature, and the offensive with my brain. I now understand that I shouldn't think like this, but I can't help feeling like I've been cheated on by my wife. That's probably not true, though. It's only natural that people tend to choose to reveal some parts of themselves where they want to show and choose what part to hide from others. For my wife, that was her face.

 I remember the great memories we have made before this marriage. I cannot forget her lovely hand-writing letters when I was serving for the military. She had have send letters every 2 or 3 days. I remember when I was almost expelled from the university for getting too many F's. Even at that time, she stayed up with me together and helped studying, and she finally taught me to get all As.

 I stared my eyes to her. She seemed very nervous like a kid waiting for the punishment by his mom. Her eyes got slowly wet. Till yesterday, if her eyes are full of tears, I thought they were like crystals, but now it seems to me as sweat of muscular guy tired of excessive push-ups. I turned my eyes to another place, 'If I keep my eyes on her'- I thought. 'I might lose all my lovely memories with her.' For that 10 minutes, she and I did not talk but made a silence; She was watching me, and I was ignoring her eyes toward me.

 Chaos. Now I can give a perfect definition of it. I loved her. Now it's my choice to leave that sentence as a past tense or a present tense. Whom did I love? Is it someone who keeps starring at me? Yeah it's her! But, why am I ignoring her poor eyes, eyes making tears? Why can't I look back at her? I hope I could. Am I a coward? Am I a hypocrat? Did I really loved this woman? What should I do at this moment? Why cannot I do anything but just crying over and over?